Little Boys and Big Lessons

I felt like I was doing a much better job than I anticipated. It was a year that I had a large class with over half of the students were boys. They were a wonderful group of kids. Bright, caring, great sense of humor, respectful, and energetic. Most of the boys were cousins (small town!) and very energetic! They were quick to horseplay and roughhouse more so than a typical group of boys. I quickly realized that all their moms were aware of the dynamics and very supportive of trying to get the boys to tone it down.

As young boys often do, when the line was drawn, they lightly tapped over it to quickly test the boundaries. These boys were no different. They’d be in the hall or at the sinks and it would always start with an innocent joke and nudge of the shoulder. It escalated from there. Most of the time, they learned to nudge back and forth a few times with a giggle before I stepped in. I didn’t mind that; I thought it was appropriate and mature of them. Sometimes, it turned from a nudge to a full on fight at the sinks in the hallway. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for me to have come up with easy reminders for them as they left the classroom. Your #1 job is to go to the bathroom & wash your hands. You can make good choices. Don’t let anyone else distract you, you can do it! 

It worked for most of them except one handsome little boy with beautiful blue eyes and a mischievous smile. Johnny was the one that never stopped. Now, I can work with one boy on this and have the other boys be encouraging as well. I was more attentive when Johnny was in the hall. I noticed the things that distracted him, the things he played around with, and the other classrooms he stood outside and waved at students. Yes, Johnny was his own worst enemy. 

I quickly set up an incentive to help Johnny stay on task. We discussed the importance of prioritizing. He repeated that word to me a lot. I told him, if he stayed focused on his number one job during a bathroom break, he’d return to the room with time to spare to visit with friends. I told him he needed to prioritize getting his job done for his body. He’d have a crooked grin and look at me, Yeah, prioritize, he’d say nodding his head. I was so proud of him. He was on top of it! I was relieved that most of the bathroom incidents with the boys were at a minimum.

One day, Johnny came back from his bathroom break and he was out of breath. Were you running in the hall? He told me no. Why are you out of breath? He shrugged. Go back and walk. He did. This happened a few more times. I felt a little guilty that while I had taught him to prioritize, he was probably thinking it was a good idea to go fast because then he’d have more time for his friends. He tried to take shortcuts in other ways, too. 

A few times, I caught him coming back shaking his wet hands because he thought they could air dry so he’d have more time to talk with his friends. Then he tried not washing his hands all together. For the number of times that I caught him, I couldn’t tell if he was being stubborn or if he really needed me to walk him through every scenario of prioritizing when rushing.

One day, I got my answer. Johnny was wearing gray sweatpants and came back from his bathroom break with some dribble in a conspicuous place. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I stopped him right at the door. Hey Johnny, did you rush? He told me that he did and went as fast as he could. I could tell he was being honest. I wasn’t sure how to point out that he rushed through shaking himself dry. This was awkward. I needed a man. I needed Johnny’s gray sweatpants to dry before he went back to the boisterous boys. I needed to move on instead of debating how to teach Johnny to ‘know’ his body and that a big PRIORITY during his bathroom break is to make sure he’s dry. I needed to know how many situations I would have to explicitly teach him to not rush through. I needed to know if Johnny was going to be uncomfortable when I brought this up or if he was going to be defensive because he did it on purpose to me–he had that prankster personality. Did you do all of your jobs on your bathroom break? That was the quickest thing I could think of to say. He said yes. Did you dry yourself? He lifted his hands and nodded. That’s not what I meant so I had to be more specific and fast! How many times did you shake dry? One, he immediately replied. Oh my gosh, he knew exactly what I meant and didn’t seem phased at all by the question. I felt immediate relief. Johnny, I began to say and then stopped because how do I tell him one is not enough? You’re going to need to shake it at least 3 times. He tilted his head, and looked confused. I pointed down. He noticed the dribbles and then looked me right in the eyes. Shoot, I didn’t handle this right. His crooked smile spread across his face and I heard a little giggle. “Oh yeah! Thanks, Mrs. Duwe.”