The Recess Chronicles I

I have a love-hate relationship with recess. It’s refreshing to watch kids innocently play and be their authentic selves. It is so hard trying to get to the bottom of arguments that start on the playground. Some days I feel like Judge Judy. Other days the backstory of the argument is so confusing that I can’t understand what the problem is or if they need me to solve it. Then, there are days that the issue is very clear and I’m left speechless.

The last time I was left speechless was a few years ago on a chilly fall day. Transition seasons are so hard to prepare kids for what to wear when they’re going outside. I have no idea how parents do it–trying to get their kids out the door with the right attire, taking into account that it will probably warm up during the day even though the morning is starting with frost, and knowing very well that their child is going to lose the nice sweatshirt or rain jacket that was bought specifically for this kind of season. 

While dressing for recess, there is always the debate of if Suzie is actually wearing a jacket like she should be or if Suzie is sneaking her sweatshirt as a jacket. You would be surprised how passionate first graders are about this. There is a lot of tattling! There are those poor kids who run hot knowing they’re going to take off their layers the moment they run outside and are worried that they’re going to lose it (because they usually do). There’s so much angst about the clothes worn out to recess. I don’t want it to be a big deal but I’ve also accepted that it will always be a big deal to the kids. They’re trying to make the right choice with some independence, knowing their grown-ups can’t “catch” them making the wrong choice but also struggling with having to take responsibility for their clothing while also enjoying a window of absolute freedom with all of their friends. In their innocent, young minds, it’s complicated.

The sweatshirt versus jacket debate had been in full swing for about two weeks now. I thought I had solved the debate by simply saying, “You need to have long sleeves on for recess.” There was definitely less arguing before recess and I was pretty proud of my long sleeves rule. I was just finishing up my lunch when the kids were sent inside because their recess time was up.

“Johnny was hitting us in the face on the slide!” came the yelling down the hall. As a teacher, when you’re ready to start the afternoon learning and all you hear is shouting about something that you know you have to handle before moving on to anything, it is the worst feeling. The patience, effort, and redirection it takes to hear each individual’s story about how Johnny hit someone in the face is incredible and it can easily take up to 40 minutes. A whole afternoon can be lost because of one simple act on the playground. I sound dramatic. It is dramatic. I have to address it immediately because it’s aggression and needs to be taken seriously.

I did my best to de-escalate and move on with the afternoon, making mental notes of what I was going to talk about with Johnny. I had every side of the story except his and we were going to talk privately. I pulled Johnny in the hall and told him that I had heard some things about his choices on the playground that day. 

Johnny was a fairly honest student. Honest when he knew he had to be. I knew that he respected me and would really reflect on what I had to say. I was choosing my words carefully because I wanted the discussion to truly change his behavior.

I told Johnny how several students had mentioned that he was sitting on top of the bottom opening of the tube slide. Kids had said that he was straddling the opening and when they would come out, his privates were bumping into their foreheads. Several kids had said they had told him to stop and that he was being inappropriate (I was proud of those kids for respectfully asserting themselves. I made a note to tell the school counselor about their awesome choices!). Johnny had ignored them and continued.

At this point, Johnny was very stoic, he usually was so I wasn’t that concerned. I thought for sure that he would have something to interject when I mentioned his privates bumping them on the forehead. He had his pants on at least, maybe that’s why he wasn’t phased? He does have brothers so I can see this as a way they would get rough playing at home. I was also wondering at what point would he be embarrassed that his teacher knew he was bumping his privates into foreheads. I thought some of the details from other kids may have been played up so I continued in hopes that Johnny would interject when something wasn’t true (as kids usually do).

“Johnny, I am going to be very honest with you so I can help you start to solve this problem. However, you can’t solve this problem unless you are also going to be very honest. As I talk, I want you to listen very carefully, and when I’m done, you have the chance to be very honest and tell me if there is any part of the story that is NOT true,” I told him. He was staring me right in the eyes and nodded very solemnly.

I began, “Johnny, several kids told me that when they went down the slide and bumped into your privates hanging over the edge, they told you to stop immediately. You didn’t stop, you kept doing it, and then you said to them ‘How do you like them onions?!’ They grew very upset and told you to stop again. Then, you started whipping your jacket and hitting them with it as they came out of the slide telling you to stop. You need to fix this because you did not make good choices. You disrespected them, hit them, and ignored their words. If you were doing this as an adult, law enforcement could be involved. I am going to teach you how to fix this but I need you to tell me right now if all of this is true!” 

Johnny stared right in my eyes. He slowly nodded. He said, “No, not all of it is true.” I felt so relieved. He continued, “I wasn’t hitting them with my jacket. It was my sweatshirt.”